Breaking The Habit
by rikkilucario7
Summary: YOU SEE, I'd like to tell you that this story is about me finding something to fight for. Well, it is. But it's not that simple. I have the reflex to kill, and in battle I use it quite frequently. Problem is, I'm haunted at night by the faces I've taken away. Besides, I know killing is wrong. I want to stop so badly I can taste it. So why is it so difficult? Plenty of violence!
1. I N T R O D U C T I O N

Hey guys! Unfortunately I was not working on Links. Instead, I was finishing up this story. I didn't want to post until I was completely done because I hate abandoning stories that people are interested in.

ENJOY!

* * *

INTRODUCTION

SOME SAY that love is worth fighting for. Some say justice is worth fighting for. Some say that friends are worth fighting for. Some say that family is worth fighting for. Some say that integrity is worth fighting for. Some say dreams are worth fighting for. Some say relationships in general are worth fighting for.

OTHERS SAY that your beliefs are worth fighting for. Others say whatever it is you value is worth fighting for. Others say that you hold close to your heart is worth fighting for. Other say that your life is worth fighting for. Others say that any life is worth fighting for. Others say that every life, especially those not your own, are worth fighting for.

I'D LIKE to give you a list of stuff that I would fight for. I'd like to tell you that I believed in such good things. I'd like you all to read this and say, "I like this guy."

PROBLEM IS, I have no idea what I would fight for. Problem is, I have no idea what I believe in. And the problem is... I've got this habit.


	2. C H A P T E R O N E

CHAPTER ONE

I CAN'T stop. No. Rapid thoughts, rapid thoughts. Stop for one moment and I'll remember. I can't let that happen. No. Books. Apples. Home. The Base. Africa. Anywhere but here. Help. Me. AAH. Sleep. Can't. Fall. Asleep. Can't. Control. Dreams. AH.

Sleep. Dreams.

No.

He and I raced through the field, bloody rain pouring down on us. Blood. Blood. It was everywhere. By now I had to be used to it. He followed me. Suddenly the blood turned to fire, and bullets sprayed. I yelled to run. I looked behind me and he was dead. Blood. Blood. So, so much... Scarlet red... Blood. Blood. He was dead. I was angry. I used hydro pump on the nearest pokemon. He happened to be a fire type. I didn't care. I killed him.

"AAAH!" I sprung up and screamed as I woke up, then recoiled in pain as my wounds opened. The ones that hurt the most weren't physical.

I bit my lip until the pain subsided a little. I stood up slowly, flinching as the full pain roared. I waited a moment for it to subside.

When it finally did, I looked around.

I was in a tiny and gray prison cell. The bars were a cold black metal. The air was frigid and damp, like cold humidity.

This, in the long run, was a good thing.

I used water sport to coat the bars in wetness. I then grabbed a hold of them and used overheat, a move that no buizel could dream of mastering. I learned from an old friend a long, long time ago. In a different life, it seems.

When the bars started burning my paws, I stepped back. I didn't jump; every movement was a painful gesture. I used ice beam next, freezing the blazing bars.

Too tired and in pain to punch my way out, I sent my hidden power to do its work. The bars broke with a satisfying snap.

I carefully stepped out and looked around. The floor was a long hallway, empty cells lining the middle walkway. There was a door at the end to my right. It was close, thank goodness. I walked to it and opened the door. In front of me now lied a set of stairs.

I groaned and started up.

When I finally got to the top, I cracked open the door and peeked out. There was a single guard in my sight, and he seemed half-asleep. Behind him was a window. I could see a dark night's sky. I slowly stepped out of the door's frame.

The room was small. There were several doors, but the only one that interested me was the one hiding behind the guard. I clicked out my claws and walked up to his sleeping form. I stabbed him in the chest and he fell to the floor without rebut.

The door opened to the sweet darkness of the night. The field in front of me was open and wide, but occasional spotlights glided across. I would have to tread carefully.

After watching for what seemed like hours (but was probably only ten minutes), I determined the pattern. The first light crossed in front of me, then the second a foot away. The third, fourth, and so on went one after another, farther and farther away.

Once the first light had crossed in front of me, I started my mad sprint. It hurt worse than I could have imagined and blood dripped from all my wounds. Still, I continued on.

I tripped. My downfall.

The spotlight found me and alarms sounded and people scrambled as if I were the devil. I realized I could make a brake for it... but I preferred to stay and fight. I clicked out my claws.

The first three who came at me were a scyther, a mightyena, and a banette. Scyther launched at me with blades glowing and crossed, an X-scissor attack. I used protect. The pokemon bounced off my shield easily.

The dog used shadow ball. I ducked, dodging. The black, pitiful shadow copied his attack, but again I dodged. These fools were simple. Who the hell let them into the army?

I jumped at the shadow, plunging my claws into his forehead. I shook the shadow off and looked to the dog with a smirk. He put his tail between his legs. Still, he ran at me, head first. I side-stepped to dodge the headbutt. He came at me again, using the same attack. I stepped to the side again. I pushed my left fist up to hit the scyther as he came from above, hitting under his chin. When the dog came past me once more, I shoved my claws into his shoulder, making him yelp loudly. I threw him to the side.

I evilly turned my gaze to the bug. He fled.

I knew he was going to get back up, and that was the last thing I wanted. I had to get the hell out of there.


	3. C H A P T E R T W O

CHAPTER TWO

TOO BAD for me, it turned out. There was another wall.

The guys on my tail stopped running. I didn't. I went faster until the looming wall appeared directly in front of me. I ran my paws across it, desperately trying to find a secret door or something.

There were six: another scyther, an ursaring, a manetric, another buizel, a machop, and a pikachu.

They all came at me at once, using quick attack. Too easy. I jumped up and they all hit each other. I landed on one of them and used her as a springboard. I jumped up again and dove down, my claws hitting the manetric's backbone. It fell to the ground, dead.

The five left used their quick attack again. I repeated what I had done, this time taking out the machop. The scyther and the buizel tried to slash at me, but they, too, were fallen after two brick breaks lead by my claws.

The ursaring roared and used an energy ball. It hit me hard, and I slammed into the wall.

_Gawd__... _my mind sounded. _I __didn__'__t __know __you __could __hurt __so __much__._

My vision started fading a little, but I ignored it and stood up. "Screw you," I muttered. I used overheat, too tired to do much else.

The ursaring rushed away, unable to take the heat.

The pikachu withstood it, but only barely. "Y-you monster!" the small voice yelled. "You killed all these pokemon. Why? Why couldn't you have just fainted them?"

I raised a glare and, terrified, it fled.

THIS, YOU see, is my habit.

All the guilt of taking away those lives haunted me during the day. All the blood and gore and horror and sadness came at me and slowly killed me at night. I swear to gawd, the knife they use is duller than a pillow.

I GOT back up again and used ice beam and overheat to finally brake the wall.


	4. C H A P T E R T H R E E

CHAPTER THREE

WHEN THE dawn started to peek from behind the horizon, I had just barely made it to familiar territory. I crossed the border just as a patrol saw me. They recognized me immediately as friendly, and I fainted on the spot.

* * *

I WOKE up again in the infirmary. Did I ever mention to you that numbness was the best feeling on the planet?

* * *

THE YELLOW rat's words turned into knives as he said them, and each embedded themselves into me, slowly cutting me apart.

"Why?"

"You took their lives away."

"Why?"

"You know it is too late to give them back."

"Why?"

"Their families? What about them?"

"Why?"

My blood seeped down, staining my fur. It dripped to the floor and formed the faces of those whose deaths I caused.

I woke up screaming. A nurse rushed over, but I told her it was one of my nightmares. I was infamous to the nurse staff because of them.

* * *

ANOTHER THING I'm infamous for among the infirmary is that I heal so fast. I took only two weeks for my bullet wounds. The mental ones, though, haven't even begun to heal.

* * *

CARISSA CARNIC, a buizel, like me, is my arch-enemy for sure. Every time we see each other, we automatically have to be better than the other. It is never good when we're paired up.

Which is why we ended up in the office of our commander.

"You two act like children," he decided. "We are in the _army _here, not sixth grade. I won't be babysitting. So you both better get your acts together or else you will face consequences."

Of course, since we failed to disable the alarms in enemy headquarters and then rescue the captive, someone else had to do it. We hadn't even crossed the border before we start arguing.

We were then sent on another mission with Will Flow, yet another buizel. Save, unlike Carissa and I, he was usually calm and anger didn't seem to be on his list of emotions.

The mission was to rescue one of the nurses, a girl named Ashy. She also happened to be Will's girlfriend, which is why he was joining us. I knew for a fact he didn't like to put his friends' lives in anyone else's hands. Plus, it was clear that we wouldn't be able to do much of anything on our own.

She was being kept as a hostage in the same base I had been in. I wasn't happy to go back, but you didn't hear me complain. If you were wondering, no, she hadn't been there when I was. She was kidnapped last night.

The reason back-up wasn't sent for me was that they thought I was dead already.

* * *

WE STARTED out around nine at night. It was barely dark.

We reached the premises at ten-thirty. The early night's darkening blue had turned into a near pitch-black shadow that covered the land, only disrupted by the spotlights blaring a straight line that cut through the dark. The hole in the wall hadn't been patched, making our entrance much easier.

"It's not even guarded," I muttered. "These guys are stupid."

"Hold it," Will whispered. "This may be a trap." His orange eyes scanned the area by the hole and over the wall.

"What do you see?" Carissa wondered. "I can't see anyone."

"Hand me that stick," Will said suddenly, pointing to one behind me. I picked it up and gave it to him. Will took it and lightly threw it towards the hole.

It was electrocuted a foot away from it.

"Holy shit," I muttered.

"Yeah," Will agreed.

"Good thing Will's here. Otherwise you would've gotten us killed!" Carissa accused, angrily stepping towards me.

"What? No! I-" I started.

"Guys, stop," Will said calmly. "No fighting."

"But-" I said.

"Let's find another way in," Will decided, ignoring me. After a quick glare in my direction, Carissa follows Will.

We walk around the perimeter of the wall, making sure to stay out of the lights and away from the wall.

Eventually we stumbled upon a door. We threw another stick at it, and it hit it with a thunk. Carefully, I walked over to it. I picked up a leaf along the way and held it in front of me as I walked forward. It touched the door, and I decided it was safe enough. I opened pulled open the piece of wood.

Will and Carissa joined me as we stepped through. We stayed along the walls as we scooted around to the door that I had previously escaped through.

We opened it and peeked through. No one was there this time, so we continued.

Next problem was deciding which door. There were three. One that led to my cell and those around it. One that held my cell that was a deep brown color, a middle door that was red, and one to the left, which was a cherry-wooden color.

"Let's split up," Will suggests.

"Good plan," I agree. Carissa wordlessly goes to the right. Will starts at the middle door. I turn to the left door and tense.

"What's wrong, you scared?" Carissa sneers as she watches.

I face her with a glare. "You would be, too, if you almost died down there," I told her. She just went through the door.

"I'd switch with you, but over time I've learned that it is better to face bad memories than to run from them," Will told me. I nodded. He went through the middle door.

I stared after him, wondering how someone like him knew that. He seemed calm, and, as I've heard him talk more, innocent.

Empty, empty, empty. None of the cells had pokemon in them. She wasn't in here.

I walked back to my cell and stared inside. Again, there was still blood. The memories were still fresh and painful in my mind.

I remembered the nightmares.

Then I remembered my escape.

I shivered.

_I __will __never __kill __again__._

* * *

WILL CAME back last. Carissa and I didn't talk to each other, just stared at the door, hoping Will would came back with Ashy in tow.

After about twenty minutes, I asked, "Someone should go after them."

"You do it," Carissa decided, crossing her arms and looking away.

I responded by walking forward, reaching up, and pulling the handle. In front of me was a set of stairs that led straight down. At the bottom was a small room. I could see a door to another room.

I stepped down onto the first step and continued silently down to the bottom.

Suddenly, I heard a crash.

I immediately bolted out the door and into the openness of the larger room it led to.

The room wasn't actually a room, it was a cell house like the one I had been in. In the back was a small grey figure. In front of it was Will, for once not looking happy whatsoever. Standing in front of him was a figure with her back to me. She was a lucario, and even from the back I could tell she wasn't a glad pokemon.

"Go in the cell and I won't kill you," she warned.

"Back away and you'll go through the day unharmed," Will shot back.

"Fine, then. Don't say I didn't warn you," the lucario told him. Between her paws started an aura sphere.

"No!" I yelled, and I sent a water pulse hurtling towards her. It hit her hard, knocking her forward. Will and the gray figure (who turned out to be Ashy) jumped aside as she hit the wall.

"Make a brake for it!" Will yelped. He and Ashy ran over to me.

"I'll take care of her," Ashy said. The lucario was getting back up.

"Can you handle it?" I wondered.

"Just because I'm in the infantry doesn't mean I can't fight," she told me, and crouched down.

The lucario turned to face us. "You die now!"

"Yeah, no," Ashy muttered. She launched at the lucario, knocking her back into the wall. She jumped away from her opponent and then used a dark pulse. The lucario jumped up and tried to attack, but Ashy ended the attempt by using a shockwave. The lucario had fainted. "Easy," she said as she walked back over.

"You've improved quite a bit since last time I saw you fight," Will told her as we walked back upstairs.

"Yes. I've been working on speed," she told him. "How are my stats?"

"I know you can use extreme speed. Utilize that when attacking by using a move instead of tackle at the end," Will suggested. "That should give you an excellent power boost."

Ashy smiled. "Sounds good. Thank you." Will nodded in response.

We shut up as we walked up the stairs and then out. There was a guard blocking the door, whom Will took down in a few minutes. He was no trouble. But that was only the start. Smoother the way in, rougher the way out, so someone else had to stumble across us. Or, you know, six or so.

The six that happen to get into our way were: that lucario, looking exhausted, a poochyena, a raichu, an emolga, a deerling, and a salamence.

"Damn," Carissa muttered.

"You! I told you you would die!" the lucario yelled. Yeah, she just happened to stumble upon us. Mm hm.

"Screw it," I muttered, and launched at her. I hit her with a brick break attack on the head and then kicked her aside. "Who's next?" I ask the frightened pokemon.

"She's dead!" one of them yelled.

I cracked my fingers. "You guys go. I've got this." I drop into a fighting stance and prepare to continue.

"No," Will said. He pulled me back too quickly for me to respond. Then he lifted his fingers to the sky. Little ice pieces, like needles, formed. He threw his paws forward, and the ice followed. It hit between the shoulder and neck of each pokemon. They fainted instantly.

"What-" I start.

"Hydrokinesis," Will explained in a whisper. "Don't ask." I didn't.

* * *

THAT NIGHT the nightmares were worse. That electric rat showed up again, but this time his words were different. His face flashed in my mind. As he asked his questions, that lucario in a bloody pile streaked across my mind's eye.

"Why did you kill her?"

"Why can't you be like Will and faint them?"

"Why did you kill her?"

"Why didn't you stop yourself?"

"Why did you kill her?"

"Why don't you know how wrong it is?"

I woke up screaming, "I do!"


	5. C H A P T E R F O U R

Hey, guys! I am overjoyed that any of you have read this far!

* * *

CHAPTER FOUR

THE NEXT morning, I get up and know something had to change. I had to stop, and I knew someone who could help me.

I hunted down Will.

"Can you help me with something?" I asked him.

"What can I do for you?" he asked with a smile.

"I... I want to learn how to do what you did. You know, with the ice," I told him.

Will tilted his head. "Can I ask you for the reason?"

My jaw tightened. For some reason, asking for this favor was extremely difficult. I noticed Will cross his arms. "I want to faint pokemon."

"Instead of?" Will wondered, raising an eyebrow.

I knew what he was trying to get me to say. "I'm tired of killing, okay?"

Will smiled and a look of sympathy spread across his face. (I hated that look. It made me feel childish.) He put a hand on my shoulder and told me, "I can't teach you hydrokinesis. It took me years to learn. But, I can teach you to hit pressure points. It takes awhile to learn, but it is a great skill. Also," his face turned very serious, "you need to learn self-control, everything I teach you will be wasted."

"Okay," I nodded, clinging to his words.

Will stepped back, taking his hand from my shoulder. "One more thing. You have nightmares a lot, yes?"

I narrowed my eyes. "How did you know this?"

"Well, you just admitted it to me," Will told me. I mentally smacked myself. "I knew you were having problems. The pokemon in the room next to you has heard you wake up yelling and screaming. I was unaware that these dreams you must be having were frequent, though."

"Are you a therapist or something?" I asked, surprised at his tactics and knowledge.

"Or something. I'm working towards a Master's degree in psychology," Will explained. "But I am not sure what I'll be doing with it yet."

"Well, you'd be great at that, it sounds like," I told him.

"Would you care to explain your nightmares? I'd like to try and help," Will said.

"Okay... Um, usually a rat yells at me and something bloody pops up," I explained.

"Go into some detail, if you can remember," Will suggested.

Oh, I remembered all right. I remember them all. "Well, the rat's a pikachu."

"Have you seen him before in reality? I mean, not in a dream?"

"...I have. When I was escaping from the enemy cells where Ashy was, a group of pokemon attacked me," I explained. "I killed four out of six. That pikachu survived. He then proceeded to tell me that I was a monster." The memory was like opening a wound. It hurt and stung.

"How do you feel about killing?" Will asked next.

"I shouldn't. I know that it's wrong and I know that those pokemon have families, and by killing the pokemon I make their family die a little, too," I told him, looking at my feet. "But I can't control myself. I hate myself for it, and I want to change so badly I can taste it."

"What does that pikachu tell you?" Will asked next. I could tell he was trying to put together the huge puzzle that was my psyche.

"He tells me... Well, he questions me," I clarified. " 'Why do I kill, not faint?' is really what I think he's trying to get at."

"Well, what's the answer?" Will asked me.

"I-" I started, but Will immediately cut me off.

"Let's go start training," Will said. "I've already talked to our boss. He knows what's happening."

Before I could answer, Will started walking in the direction of the training center. "He already knew most of what I just told him," I muttered to myself, realizing.

AN HOUR into our training session, I decided this was the most difficult thing I've ever tried to learn. So far, Will has showed me two pressure points, both on the arm. He then proceeded to tell me what they did, and had me try them out.

That just resulted in me jabbing his arm repeatedly.

I felt frustrated, confused, and annoyed. But I knew working with Will was the best option I had... and possibly the only one.


	6. C H A P T E R F I V E

CHAPTER FIVE

SIX WEEKS later, I have figured out how to pressure point people. I'm not even close to becoming anything like a master, but I feel I've got it down.

But every mission I have, I always think about what Will had told me. _"__You __need __to __learn __control__. __Without __self__-__control__, __everything __I __teach __you __will __be __wasted__,"_ he told me. He was right, and still is.

Today I go on my first mission that will involve fighting in the last month and a half. I'm nervous, but only because I think I'll end up killing. Gawd, I hope not.

The mission is similar to the one where we rescued Ashy, save it is a different base. It's bigger, for one, and it definitely has more prisoners. It also doesn't have that ridiculous wall.

One more thing.

This time it's Carissa we're rescuing.

WILL AND I are taken into the perimeter by a small car. The driver, our friend Laek, wishes us luck as he drives away. He'll be back in thirty minutes. If we're not there, he'll have to go.

It was dark out, and really late. Almost one in the morning, in fact.

Will analyzes the situation and the blue prints we've been given. "It looks like this place has lights streaming around it at a distance of a mile, so we'd better watch out."

"What's it look like inside?" I asked.

"The entrance I think we'll be sneaking into is located on the building's side. From there we will enter into a small room. That small room has two doors. One leads to a large area I'm assuming to be a cafeteria, the other to a set of stairs," Will told me. "The stairs should lead us to the cell houses."

"What if the doors are locked?" I asked Will next.

He clicked out his claws. They were surprising long and looked quite deadly. My claws, an inch and a half and sharp as a knife, looked weak compared to his. They were three inches and the word 'sharp' didn't seem to cover it. "I've got a way." Then he smiled in a way that was the closest I've seen to being comparable to a smirk.

"Then what are we waiting for?" I questioned Will.

THE DOOR had been locked, but Will's claws took care of it easily. He stuck one in and twisted it. Then walla, open door.

We continued like he'd planned, and soon we were at the cell house's entrance. It was dark down there, and cold. There were several neat rows of cells, but after a bit of scouting, Will and I had determined the pattern. Children, men, and women were all kept in different places. Yes, children. It gave me shivers to think about.

Will and I quietly stepped down the aisle, looking at the cold eyes in each cell, hoping to find Carissa's. Wishing to find her and get the hell out.

"Will?" a voice sounded. It sounded confident, but had an undertone of desperate hope.

"Carissa?" Will wondered. He located her cell and we walked over. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Fine," she said.

"Cool. Now let's get the hell out of here," I suggested, inching towards the door.

"For once, I agree," Carissa said. Will used his claws to unlock and then the three of us rushed towards the door.

But, that thing again, smoother in rougher out. It started with a guy at the top of the stairs. He saw us and ran away, probably to tell someone else.

We bolted. We made it to the door and stepped out...

...Right into a light.

Of course, we started running again. Of course, a patrol team caught up with us. Of course, they were all wearing armor, so of course Will's ice wouldn't work.

The three of us started paw-to-paw combat. There were six, what I'm guessing to be a standard patrol. It was a houndoom, a politoad, a riolu, a raichu, a scyther, and a pikachu. Actually, not a pikachu.

_The_ pikachu.

"Watch that buizel! He's a killer!" he yelled, pointing at me.

I really wanted to punch him, but resisted the urge.

The scyther launched at me. I punched him in the gut and he fell back, but hadn't fainted as I'd intended.

"A little higher," Will suggested. At that time the houndoom and the raichu went at him and Carisa.

Scyther took up again. I punched him a little higher in the gut. And then he fainted.

I looked the pikachu straight in the eye. "Not anymore."

He snarled and then used quick attack at me. I punched him and he flew back. The riolu raced at me, and I kicked him away.

Both came at me again with quick attack. I jump into the air and they hit each other. The politoad sees they need help, and he uses water gun. I raced at him, dodging the bursts of water, and got close enough to hit his stomach once and then squeeze a point on his shoulder. He fell to the ground with a thump.

Pikachu and Riolu appeared and tried to hit me, but I dodged... just barely.

Will and Carissa finished their battles. I realized Will was using it as a chance to practice, considering he was disabling limbs when he could just faint them.

I managed to get the riolu out. Pikachu shocked me a few times, but I punched him in the right spot, hard.

Then I remembered what Will had told me.

"_Don__'__t __use stomach punches __on __little __guys__, __it __could __kill __them__."_

And what did I just do?

The pikachu falls to the ground. I race to him, but life has already ebbed away.

The world rushed at me. My vision faded. Voices, angry ones, sounded in my head, yelling, screaming. Red rushed over what was left of my sight in waves of bloody water. I heard the pikachu, crying and yelling that I killed him.

I did it again. After I told him I wouldn't anymore, even. I... I had to end it.

I clicked out my claws.

And plunged them into my own chest.


	7. C H A P T E R S I X

This, my friends, is the final chapter.

ENJOY!

P.S. One of these characters (well, an adapted version) will be appearing in _Links_. Can you guess who?

* * *

CHAPTER SIX

"WHAT THE hell are you doing?" Will demanded. He yanked my paws away.

"Will, I killed him!" I cried out.

"Who? I-" Then he looked behind him for a moment and saw the pikachu. "That's _the _pikachu, isn't it?"

"Yes," I whispered, putting my head down. "I told him I didn't kill anymore... only to kill him. I-"

"Calm down, it was only an accident," Will said calmly.

"I could have prevented it if I'd had remembered! You warned me about this!" I argued.

It was around that time that I realized that Carissa had a sympathetic look on her face. Much later I had asked her why. She told me that only real men would cry.

"And how does killing yourself solve anything?" Will wondered.

"I punish myself for killing them," I explain.

Will responded, "You punish yourself enough from the nightmares. To actually almost kill yourself really shows the world you are truly sorry."

"I-"

"Now tell me why," Will insisted. I could tell he wasn't going to specify what he wanted from me. So I just told him what I thought he wanted to know.

"I... I don't know why. I don't understand why I fight," I told him, shaking my head sadly.

"Yes, you do," Will responded. "You just aren't sure yet."

I was about to respond when sudden alarms started screaming. Had we been seen? We had avoided the light. None of the patrol we'd defeated had woken up. Weird.

In moments we were surrounded by enemies.

"I can teleport," Will said quickly. "I can take one-"

"Take Carissa. Go. Now," I told him.

Will nodded and took her arm. For a moment she looked at me and opened her mouth, but then closed it and nodded. They teleported.

For but a second I wondered what the nod had meant.

Then I realized I had other problems.

There had to be sixty of them, I swear it. I surrendered.

TO MY surprise, they dragged me not to the cells but to a hidden set of stairs. I wondered my fate.

Up the stairs and to the right was a door. In that door, as I discovered, was the enemy leader's office.

They dragged me in there and sat me down, cuffing my arms to the chair. They left, and I looked around.

In front of me was a desk. Across it was a chair, turned so I could not see who sat there. I knew there was someone, considering the black fur on top of somebody's head. The room was lit harshly, and it made everything look too bright. The walls were gray, same with the floor and desk and pretty much everything else.

"I'm waiting," the chair said.

"For what? Somebody to turn the chair around? It ain't gonna be me," I told him, deciding to be a smart-alec. I was going to die anyway. Why the hell not?

Very slowly, the chair turned around. A staraptor was sitting there, looking quite pissed.

I smirked. "What? Did offend you?" I asked.

"Not amusing," he told me. "Now stop."

"You can't tell me what to do," I alerted him. "You're not my boss."

He leaned forward. "I am now."

"Says who? You? Yeah, not quite," I retort.

"I want to make a deal with you," he claimed.

My only thought was _yeah__, __no__. _I twisted my arms and gripped the pieces of straining metal around my wrists. I used overheat until I felt blisters and then blew ice.

THe staraptor looked mad. "That chair is very expensive! I-" Yeah, I blew ice at him, and he froze.

"Stupid, stupid." I sighed, and broke the cuffs. I got up and went to open the door, but it was locked. "Damnit!"

"YA!" I dodge as ice explodes away from Staraptor.

"Well, that was fast," I comment. Suddenly I jump onto the desk and then onto his head. I grab on as he flails around.

"GET OFF ME!" he shrieked.

"Nope! This is too much fun!" I declared.

He suddenly flew up to the ceiling and hit me against it. I fell down to the ground, hitting it hard. He flew over to me and pulled a knife from his feathers. He held it up, but I rolled away just in time. He stuck it into the floor instead of my head.

I punched his face, sending him to hit the wall.I tried to grab the knife, but he was too fast. He pushed my paws away and took the knife. He tried to jab me, but I jumped away.

I needed to get this over with.

I jumped at him and took hold of the knife. I tried to yank it out of his hands, but the bird refused to let go. I kicked his stomach, but still he clung to the weapon.

"Let go," I urged him.

"Never," he retorted. "You."

"Screw you," I muttered, and kicked him a few more times. He _still_ would not let go. Finally I released the knife and hit him where the sun doesn't shine.

Then he let go.

I picked the knife up and shoved him to the wall. I held the knife up.

"Please don't kill me," he squeaked.

And then I realized what I was doing.

I was about to kill this guy. And why? Because I hated him.

The knife went down a little before my heart stopped it.

My mind went, "Why'd you do that?"

My heart responded, "You're a mind! Think! You're going to kill this guy! Why?"

"Because I hate him!" my mind declared. The knife went down a little more.

"No," my heart stated. "Who is he? What's his name?"

I didn't know his name. Or, for that matter, who he was.

Does it matter who he is personally? He's killed so many!

The knife went down, but stopped just short of his neck.

Suddenly I realized that it did matter. I couldn't kill him because. I truly didn't know who exactly he was. I only knew what he represented for me. I had to remember that _he_ was the hero for his family, for his little town.

I threw the knife away. I squeezed his shoulder, fainting him.

I stepped back.

"You did it," I heard Will tell me.

"Yeah, I did," I realized. "I didn't kill him."

"Now tell me why," Will ordered.

"I killed because I didn't see the reason not to... yet I did," I said. "I didn't keep it conscious in my thoughts. I do now."

"What do you fight for?" Will asked next.

I thought, but I didn't need to. I knew the answer.

"Myself. For the sake of fighting," I told him.

"You _did_," Will corrected. "And now?"

Again, I thought, only to find the answer right there. I glanced at the staraptor.

"Now I fight for what people are when they aren't here. Now I fight for what they don't represent. Now, I fight for life."

* * *

Did you guys ever notice that he doesn't have a name?

What are your thoughts? I'd LOVE to hear them!


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